High Risk

So, I have my first appointment with a high risk doctor today. I'm pretty nervous about it--not because I fear there is anything wrong with my twins--those little guys are perfect and I just know it. Its more that I am afraid there is something nebulous and indefinable wrong with me (how's that for self esteem).

I'm also nervous about seeing a new doctor who I've never seen before. I'm nervous about being labeled "high risk." Its a term that has come up several times during my pregnancy and it always makes me a little nervous. I guess I'm just nervous in general about the unknown, about having to be my own advocate and the advocate for my two little ones.

I'm nervous about the prospect of bedrest. Some doctors put all twin moms on bedrest. Is this doctor going to be one of those? I really hope not.

So, this morning finds me nervous and agitated, and no amount of meditation or cuddling with the dogs, or feeling my babies kick is settling it down for me. Hopefully work this morning will take my mind off it enough for me to relax a bit before I go.