Ding Dong the Witch is Dead

My evil gynecologist has retired.

I've spent the last hour on the phone with three different doctor's offices trying to coordinate an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist. And now I feel like complete shit. Why are they so mean? Why can't they just be NICE to people?

Anyway, long story short, I'm not going to be able to see an RE until the end of February, which means I won't be able to get any treatment until two cycles from now. I'm so upset, I just want to cry and cry and cry.

I know part of this is the clomid, that its affecting my mood and making me more upset. And now I'm wondering if I should even be TAKING this clomid at all, and I just want a normal life again.

I wish I didn't want to have kids. I wish I could shed my want like a snake sheds its skin.
I'd make an awful buddhist. because, while I recognize that they are right, the root of all suffering is desire, I can't seem to let go of this thing.