"The days go by, just like they know me"

Okay, its starting to scare me how I lose track of time know. A minute ago it was 8AM, I was finishing breakfast and paying the bills online while waiting for it to be after 9 so that I could run errands without getting caught in traffic.

Now its almost noon, I am wondering WhereTF the time went, and why am I still on this stupid chair with my computer in my lap.

"The days go by, just like they know me
they know just how to get my goat
they kiss me hard and then grab me by the throat
then they sail away in a little boat
westerly..."
(greg brown)

How will it go, when it goes?

Will I wake up, in the middle of the night, needing something unfamiliar and realizing that the pressure, the pain, they are different from all the times before?

Will I go to a routine doctor's appointment and be sent from there to the hospital?

Will my water break?

Will I schedule a c-section and arrive at the hospital with a fresh pedicure and shaved legs?

Will I spend a day not unlike today? surrounded by the soft noises of dogs sleeping and snoring and dreaming? Music from a distant part of the house? The sounds of Mark cleaning something, a car, a floor, a fish tank? Will I watch Hank's toes twitch with his dreaming, hearing his soft hooting noises that would be barks if he were awake? Will I sing off-key as I wash the dishes and sort the laundry, the way I love to sing, loudly, brashly, with no one here to acknowledge how badly I sing? Will that day go on in my typical routine while inside I wonder if I should be timing contractions?

It could be a day like today. How will I say goodbye to our routine?

Post-Thanksgiving

A quiet thanksgiving at home yesterday. The smoked turkey was lovely, the stuffing perfect.

The kitchen is a mess because we left it in our turkey-drugged stupor to watch James Bond movies from the couch the rest of the afternoon.

Late at night I woke up from a vivid dream about food (specifically some kind of weird dead dried up fish someone was trying to get me to eat) to terrible reflux--the kind where stomach acid pours up into your throat. I had a hard time getting comfortable after that.

31 weeks pregnant now--only a few more weeks to go. I'm filled with impatience and excitement.

So damn tired

Last night I was contracting every 5-7 minutes while watching TV, so at 11 pm, I hopped in the bath tub with a 34 oz. bottle of water by my side and lay there for about an hour, drinking water the whole time. The contractions slowed to one every 10-15 minutes or so, so I got out, dried off, and went to bed.

And proceeded to get up to pee every 10 minutes for the rest of the night.

With these episodes of frequent contractions growing more common, I can't help but feel the boys are getting ready to show up within the next 4-6 weeks.

Get ready Mama, babies are coming!

Under no circumstances...

*warning, parental discretion advised. This post contains frank discussion of certain anatomical changes brought about by pregnancy. Yeah, THOSE changes. Cover the kiddos eyes, and if you don't want to hear about my ass, don't read any further.

So, I thought I might have hemorrhoids, a couple of weeks ago, but the certain awful sensations dissipated (or I grew accustomed to them) so I forgot about the thought that had crossed my mind..."Hey pregosaurus, you might have hemorrhoids!"

So today, I decided to do a little femmescaping. Nothing major, its not like I can see it, I just wanted to trim the hedges a bit because I had this funny thought that since my body hair has slowed in growth drastically, if I trim now, maybe I won't be jungleriffic when I deliver, and someone actually sees my bidness.

So, I mustered all my courage and got out the hand mirror and the beard trimmers and set to work. First note, at this point, I am large enough that my belly actually folds OVER my pubic hair a bit. It is damn near impossible to hold your belly up, hold a mirror, and work the trimmer at the same time. And don't think you can hold the mirror with your feet. It just does. not. work.

So, after deciding to trim that part blind, I moved on to the rest of it, which was fairly uneventful, once I figured out the mirror direction thing.

Then, as I was finishing up, I caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye, and though, "huh, what is THAT?"

Yeah, I moved the mirror. I looked. I saw.

I could have lived a long happy life without knowing what hemorrhoids look like. That image had always been somewhat vague and imaginary before. Now it is a reality burned into my brain forever, and I am horribly, terribly unnerved by it.

So, if you are pregnant, and you think you might have hemorrhoids, take my advice. Pay for a wax, or have your partner do your grooming for you. And set up a strict don't ask/don't tell policy with your partner.

And whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, hold a mirror anywhere near your pooper.

s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d

I don't want to be one of those pregnant women who complains about being pregnant, but holy crap my belly hurts!

No one really ever tells you how it feels. My ribs are spreading and my sternum has turned up at the end like the end of a ski, leaving a burning/stinging/itchy sensation along the top of my bump where it meets my boobs, which are being held in a pretty perky position even without a bra by my hugeness. This sensation really feels like the itchiest rash ever combined with a pulled muscle.

Meanwhile, below the bump, there is some stretching pain in the groin, radiating up around my belly. This is pubic diastasis, and it ain't fun! Basically, everything is spreading, everything hurts.

I tried to explain to Mark, I am NOT totally miserable all the time. I'm just in pain and uncomfortable. I'm truly ecstatically happy--but all the joy in the world doesn't prevent a person from feeling pain. In two months, my boys will be here and this particular pain will be done.

I can handle it for two months. Just don't expect me to get anywhere in a hurry.

Hello Third Trimester!

28 weeks today babies!

Woo-hoo!

Went and got myself a pedicure, took the dogs to the boarding kennel for the weekend, and I am SO READY to go to the beach for Josh's wedding.

I have had so much anxiety wrapped up in whether or not I would be allowed to travel for this wedding, I think I will be so relaxed when its over, but I am REALLY looking forward to the weekend.