morning sickness and dizzy spells

So now it begins in earnest--the pregnancy side effects have swooped in this week. I have to be cautious standing up, so I don't get dizzy, and despite my best efforts to eat every 1.5-2 hours, I have been fighting back nausea since yesterday. So far it hasn't been too bad, but when Hank threw up on the floor, I almost joined him.

The changes in my body are making it feel slightly alien. I'm myself and not myself. These huge breasts that hurt all the time, the round little potbelly, the light-headedness, the bladder that requires constant emptying, they all conspire to make me feel as though I'm not quite myself. However, it's strangely satisfying to turn my awareness inward on life growing inside, and feel that these changes are purposeful, and the self I was is being traded in for another self, the self that is somebody's mother.

The bump has started!

a day shy of 5 weeks, and my shorts wouldn't button, I took a picture and lo and behold, the little padding I had under my belly button has rounded out and formed the start of a little bump!

Last night I dreamed...

I dreamed I went to the RE for my ultrasound, and they turned me away, even though I had an appointment, because they didn't have anyone to work the ultrasound machine.

Then it got really weird. I threw a tantrum (okay, not so weird, there) and threatened not to leave until someone showed me my baby. Then, I started talking about how I don't have a job, so I don't have anywhere better to be, and they should keep in mind that I am a college-educated woman who can't be pushed around. Then, I pulled out a textbook from my sophomore year in college entitled "how to make effective tv commercials" and said "See, I WENT to college."

There are no words to describe how ridiculous I felt when I woke up. And how relieved that I only embarrassed myself in a dream!

I don't feel pregnant today

So, after a few days of nausea and fatigue, all of a sudden I feel great. Today is the day my period would normally be due, so of course I started freaking out that this feeling great stuff means I'm going to start bleeding. I've also had some cramps today, which also gets me freaked out.

I keep re-reading the section of "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" about cramping. I know its perfectly normal, but just in case, I took another pregnancy test. For the record, this is the fourteenth pregnancy test I have taken since finding out that I was pregnant 6 days ago. The second line emerged instantly, and became as dark as the control line within just a couple of minutes.

I keep telling myself to relax, that its normal to feel good some days and bad others. Its likely that my body has gotten used to having a bit of hCG in there, and that soon enough I'll be feeling perfectly rotten again.

Besides, I still have porn boobs. That should count for something.

Why do I feel like I'm never going to relax until the kidlet graduates from college?

Appointments set

Thursday the 31st, I'll see the baby for the first time on an ultrasound. Thursday June 14th, I'll have my first OB appt!

Yay!

Oh, Finally!

Just got off the phone with the doctor--Beta is 421! More than double, very good stuff!

The anxiety is killing me

I had my second blood draw this morning and am waiting for the call from the doc with the results.

Tuesday, they called me back by 10:30 with the good news. Now, I'm panicking that the reason they haven't called me back yet (at 11:30, only an hour later) is because they have BAD news, and no one likes to make the call to give bad news.

UGH! I hate the waiting! I am so nervous. I put on a cheesy romantic comedy (a lot like love, starring ashton kutcher) to distract me. I actually really enjoy this movie, and have a little infatuation with Ashton's character, but I can't even get into it today.

Please call soon, please call soon.

beta

beta number is 172!!! Woo-hoo!

Beta scheduled for tomorrow

7:30 AM, I'll find out if the blood test confirms the pregnancy.

I've never been so excited to have blood drawn! I didn't sleep last night with worry about whether I imagined the lines were positive, etc. So I took another test this morning and it was much darker than yesterdays. And I started feeling queasy today--I really didn't imagine that would happen so soon!

I should update this with a Beta number tomorrow...

Pregnant

Happy Mother's Day to me. :)

This morning's test was clearly positive. I am not supposed to test this early, but I did anyway, so I'll be scheduling a blood test for confirmation later this week.

Mark has forbidden me to tell anyone, so this will be our little secret. :)

trigger is gone

one week post IUI, and the trigger seems to be completely out of my system.
Now the obsessive testing can begin. :)

Swollen...

I am so friggin' bloated, its not even funny. One of the side effects of the two weeks of FSH injections + trigger shot. They told me if my hands and face start swelling, to go to the ER. So far, its just my belly. It feels distended and uncomfortable. I'm not looking forward to going out on the boat tomorrow looking like this. :(

IUI Today

Did my IUI this morning. Doc says it was a "perfect cycle." Let's hope that means that next January I'll have a perfect baby! :)

Nervous

Okay, I'll admit to being a little nervous about the IUI tomorrow. While the procedure is not painful, its not exactly comfortable either. However, I'm thinking good thoughts and hoping everything goes quickly.

The aftereffects of the trigger left me feeling like I had a raging hangover this morning (morning sickness, oh boy!) and severe discomfort in my breasts. I suspect its somewhat like what people experience in the first trimester of pregnancy, but because the hormone is injected, it comes on you all at once.

Day 13 ultrasound

Surprise!

"We need to trigger you TODAY!"

Two big follicles, both over two centimeters, and uterine lining over 10mm, in the "perfect" range. This could be it! IUI is scheduled for Thursday morning.